Last Summer was when I had my first interview for the job I still have. I work at a grocery store, I wont mention the name of it for copyright shit and I don't want to get in trouble for talking shit. When applying for jobs I really did not want one. My parents, like every parent, forces you into back breaking labor.
I will admit I am very socially awkward, I never know what to say when I am in the presence of someone I either have just met or just someone who makes me nervous. I will say stupid things that afterword I would immediately think of a better thing to say. I hated the questions asked in the interview. What can you do to make this store better? Well fuck, I don't know, I'm only applying to be a cashier, I didn't realize I had to actually care about this company. My palms sweaty and mouth dry and my body squirming with adrenaline I just said "I can draw!" What the fuck? Why or no how does that have anything to do with anything??? I quickly was thinking of ways to connect this to the question and bullshit my way out of it. "Uhm, like, I can draw, and I'm really artistic and creative, so there uh are different things I can do to uhm-" Thank god the interviewer thought this was brilliant and took over for me by finishing my thought for me.
Obviously I got the job since I am talking about still having it. Being a cashier is boring, easy, but boring. There are little things I can do to make myself amused while working. Sometimes I will make up a persona with different customers. Sometimes I'll be Maeve, the girl fresh off the boat from Ireland to stay with her cousin for the summer, or Maeve, the southern belle from Texas. There are more accents I can do but have yet been able to mix it into working. The little bit of friends I have made at work think it's hilarious, so that keeps me going. Being an entertainer. I am also known for doodling on comment cards and leave them lying around the cash registers. As boring as work is, there are times that make it worth it. Sometimes I meet the craziest people. I even made a schedule for the different types of people. Monday-Wednesday are the drug addicts that come into the store 5 minutes before we close. Thursday-Friday, married couples with no kids who are going on a date or making a romantic dinner or something like that. Saturday, college kids. Sunday, oh god Sunday. Sunday is the absolute worst. And wouldn't you know, I only work sundays at this moment. Sundays are broken into sections, the early morning are the gym goers and people on their way to church looking for a card or food or something to bring. The afternoon till about 5 or 6 is the worst. This is when the mothers with small children rush in to make their weekly purchase of a billion groceries. Imagine if you will, standing in a small box with a hot machine and quickly trying to put things in a bag a certain way because HOLY SHIT I CAN NOT HAVE MY TISSUE BOX NEXT TO THE GOD DAMN CARROTS. Then there are the annoying little shits trying to play with the conveyer belt and climbing on my station. You would think the moms and dads that are there not doing anything when they should be loading my overcrowded workspace full of their shit into their cart, they don't do shit about their kids. My favorite thing to do is casually reach my hand under the side of the belt where no one can see the switch to turn it on and off and 'click' turn it off. If I'm lucky the kid will know I did it but they can't do shit about it so they start pouting. Other kids just think that it's broken and quickly move away from it. 'But Maeve, don't you feel bad for upsetting the children?? oh the poor children!!' No. I could care less. I hate kids. Anyway. Anyone coming into the store after 7 has a secret. You can figure out what their hiding quickly by observing them. I say they have secrets in a different way rather than omg Sally is secretly a lesbian. No. They come in so late because they don't want anyone to see them, they don't want anyone looking at them. It makes me a little sad sometimes. Old obese men and women coming in to buy five months worth of cat food to last the cats the rest of the week, pimply college nerds that are afraid to talk to anyone as they buy their Magic cards, and then the mothers or care takers of the mentally challenged. I like to be especially friendly with these people because I want them to know, it's okay no one is here to judge you! you are fine, you don't need to be scared! Mostly I get grumpy responses from the older people, blushing faces of the boys, and sweet nice responses from the care taker and person in need of assistance. SEE everyone I DO have a heart. I know, It's so hard to think about. Don't hurt your fragile minds too much. I still get pissed off at people coming into the store after 8:30pm since we close at 9 on sundays.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that, hell yeah, jobs suck. But I mean, what did you think it would be? It's a job and if you're lucky or fortunate enough, not a career. ps. a word of advice to anyone awaiting their first paycheck... lower your expectations then divide that by 2 and you wont cry when you see how much taxes suck.
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